Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

this is what we do in ltb meetings!!

me&jan in fa this morning :) hee.
we were frickin bored, one of the most horrible fa lessons ever!!

right now, i'm just tired. from all the coordinating for the jazz band. and i'm elated, that we finally found ourselves a slot for our next lesson! saturday ninethirty-eleventhirty pm, and practice after that eleventhirty-twelve :P it's not too difficult to foresee the embarrassment we're gonna face during auditions this sunday -_-

talk about dreary classes. they cause people to do stupid things -_- like.. msn chats! they're brutal i tell you. so, the wonderful fa classmates set up this msn chat with more than ten participants, and i was trying soo hard to control my laughter thruout the entire lesson! talking about silly things like jioing indian girls, and something else that shall not be disclosed hee.

i laughed soo hard today cos of ms jan lee!! omg. 'bicycle prices.. write them down to market' = riding the bicycles down to the market ?!! what am i gonna do when you're gone :\

bizlaw was sickeningly boring. no more msn chats for entertainment's sake, so i turned to.. chess in my mac! gawsh. jan and alex were playing bejeweled, and the three of us were going on friendster / oasis to check out profiles etc heheh. spies.com.

met jeremy after school, and took the train back with him. which got us talking about him being a mummy's boy. and i was thinking.. it would be terrible to marry one HAHA.

the night's still young as of now, cos i've still got bizlaw assignment to finish. and write the leadcharts for i shot the shariff -_-

me&denise :)
just got back from fahmy's hari raya party :)

twas a night of fun :)

the night started out with asoc day. was okay, though we hardly ate anything cos we went late. the performances were alright, well i got bored after awhile. nothing exciting besides taking pictures. was supposed to go drinking opposite at chijmes, but darren came to pick me, and the fun began...

we had supper at glutton's bay, i really pigged out. with all that satay, rice cubes, cow's lungs, mee soto, hokkien mee, oyster omelette. yumm :)

took a stroll by the bay with darren and wallace after that. getting engaged in frickin funny conversations. discussing the love-hate relationship between wallace and i. where is the love?!!! HAHAHA

drove darren's car after that :) wallace said he'd bring us for a drive, and ohmy, was it one exciting drive. haha i was driving thru this extremely winding road in pasir panjang, but i was soo lagging behind wallace hahaha. then i hopped over to wallace's car and he brought me thru the same route going up to sixty km/h, with the tyres screeching and all, AAAH SHIOK! it was frickin fun i tell you.

went back to wallace's house and moses came over in his vespa. haha my first time riding in his vespa! he brought me one round around the namly estate.. steph, did you hear vroom vroom noises? hee.

went to serene centre to pick up some stuff from bert, sat in wallace's massage chair, and finally darren sent me back :) darren, you're my best friend. hahahaha.

i love my hongkong pals :) if only jas and doreen were here :\

pictures from asoc day will be up soon! :)

was reading a book by max lucado last night, and came across this story..

dr. donald grey barnhouse told of the occasion of his first wife's death. he and his children were driving home from the burial, overcome with grief. he searched for a word of comfort to offer but could think of nothing. just then, a large moving van drove by. as it passed, the shadow of the truck swept over the car. an inspiration came to dr. barnhouse. he turned to his family and asked, "children, would you rather be run over by a truck or by its shadow?"

the children said, "well, of course, dad, we'd rather be run over by the shadow. that can't hurt us at all."

dr. barnhouse explained, "did you know that two thousand years go the truck of death ran over the Lord Jesus... in order that only its shadow might run over us?"

and i was thinking, how a person could be swayed so easily. how people could put on so many facets to suit the situation around. when will i ever be convicted once and for all.

i have a maker, He formed my heart.. before even time began, my life was in His hands.

as i thought back, and saw how life changed after entering smu.. i felt sad to see how i've distanced from everything i used to be close to. and became attached to new friends and a brand new lifestyle altogether. is this right? i really don't know.

He hears me when i call, this i know.

adorable ltb friends :)

we are so cute i can't stand it.
big smiles :)
you're my one and only girl <3

work is seriously piling again and i guess by now, i've sort of gotten used to smu life. it no longer seems tiring anymore, i'm feeling more routine than ever. like all this hectic nonsense has become part of daily norm, whereas without it, i think it'd actually be weird. i've got a frickin presentation tomorrow, and i haven't even prepared what to say for my slides. i've totally no mood to go and try and deduce what stupid leadership traits we could learn from dear steve jobs, ceo of apple. the deeper i read into his biography, i become less convinced that he could actually make a good leader. and i'm really just screwed for fa :\ i've spent too much of the past week or so on bizlaw, and now i've no idea where to start for fa. i kinda skipped two chapters just to catch up with lessons.

prof gan couldn't stop calling me today. and it's funny how he gives his wide-mouthed stunned look when certain people make stupid comments.. hurrr.

i spent a good twelve hours in school again today :\ ltb meeting was totally inefficient, for the amount of work completed and the quality of it. sigh. somehow, all this talk about synergy and teambuilding doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere. and i heard ltb's supposed to help boost the almighty gpa.

i like my fa group :) even though there aren't any scholars who are frickin kiasu and gungho, we're still moving along at a rather quick pace. no stress at all. perfect working conditions for jan and i :)

i attempted seeking help with configuration for my mac at the cit again today, to no avail of course. they tried chucking me with a dumbass manual and i was quick to reply with an immediate NO. the guy gave some crap excuse about the mac system not fitting in with the smu wlan network. like wth. do something about it. there are so many cool smu kids who use mac! hahahahaha what snob.

ltb all the way, and met aeron to go home together. that stupid boy had some stupid craving for breadtalk chocolate croissant and we had to walk all the way to stamford house only to find that they'd run out. then we had to go to citilink just for it. did you know that the two ascending escalators move at different rates? one's about six steps behind the other haha. and we waited at least half an hour for the cursed bus fourteen. hot, stuffy, crowded, rare :\

and now, i really gotta get my ass down to doing steve jobs! urgh. c'mon bel...

all the way from london..
yay :)

thanksew bert and jas :))

urghh throbbing headache and a nose that threatens to fall out anytime. :\
i need some tlc.

since everyone's been putting up photobooth pictures, here goes.. haha

someone please, i need an answer.

don't even talk to me about bizlaw. URGHH. bizlaw can go and die! :\

i just read mich and slow's blogs and i feel soo freaking sad that my term break seems soo un-fun in comparison :( omg. i just realized that i practically spent seventy percent of my break doing bizlaw, another twenty going to school for meetings! and now i still gotta rush my ltb reflective paper and prepare for ltb leadership character presentation! followed by fa presentation the following week. when will this ever end :\

crys' birthday lunch at cartel today :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRYS! :) i really haven't gone out with my church friends in superrr long. i miss how the youths used to be so close when i was in sec four. i miss the time we watched italian job together! i miss how the crosslink comm spent so much time together. i miss the times when i had all the energy and time to devote to church stuff.

i miss my jc friends. i miss ac. i miss the happy-go-lucky days. i miss how school was actually fun. unlike noww :(

and i'm freaking ill. thanks to bizlaw. thanks to the haze. thanks to the people around me who were ill. [like my piano kid la!]

just watched infernal affairs! so little footage on edison chen :( but great show nonetheless :) i know i know i need to cut my hair. stupid church guys who were calling my hair a squirrel's tail / mop / messymessmess!

thanks shangwei for the massage! omg. i wanna employ you as my official massage chair! haha. everyone's been telling me about how i've been losing weight :\ my mum's been forcing me to eat more. i think all i need to do is ZZZ MORE. i'm in dire deficit :\

NB: I MISS DOREEN HO RENYAN AND JASMINE GOH JIANMIN :'(

haha a shocked look while eating our cakes / mudpies :) my long-awaited that boney cake AT LAST..


bel&inez&amanda :)


haha check out greedy amanda with three mudpies!


bizlaw study group! weijie putting his dirty feet on my bed : \

You have stolen my heart. 
You have stolen my heart.




this can't be happening : \




bizlaw midterms tomorrow :'( i wanna cry.


fiona: he was there doing some despatch work for his camp! haha.

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, Louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say 

finally some getaway from the mundane smu life. friday night saw me getting super excited going for a movie, even though it was with wallace. hahaha. and darren as well. supper at newton after that. newton looks almost like lagoon! except the food sucks, and lagoon food's actually pass-able. bedok eightyfive's still the best. hee. we watched rob-b-hood. it was a RETARDED show! but it was frickin funny. i laughed until i almost rolled.

saturday morning was ltb project all the way at ulu admiralty :\ yep but it was fun! and the kids were cute and responsive! hee. then church in the afternoon and met up with my favourite friends in the night :) we had vietnamese food at holland v. i was the chauffeur of the night, picking up all of them from their homes. then went to island creamery for icecream! it was my first time. haha i'm like how suaku. wha but the place was seriously crowded. and i finally saw the 'uncle stanley' i've been hearing about.

dropped christina in her ulu home all the way at thomson! haha. okay it's not that ulu actually but her condo's probably one of the darkest and scariest. i had to make this roundabout turn around a tree i could hardly see haha.

and today, well, was just the usual. moses' finally back :) with lots of new clothes for me i hope hahaha.

tomorrow's gonna be a busy day. i better get some studying / packing done tonight. ciao.

i think busy's just becoming a very valid excuse to get away from most things :\
nono by that i don't mean that it's been a pack of lies. i was truly busy.

so anyway let me tell you about my frightful encounter with a crow attack this morning! omg. I HATE CROWS. i wish for all the crows in singapore to be shot down. what menace bel. haha. so i was stepping out of the gate this morning with my breakfast in hand, and this stupid big fat black crow can swooping like an inch away from my head! i tell you i could've cried on the spot. i was screaming like an idiot cos that stupid crow din do it only once, it did the same thing at least three times. and i was just grabbing my head to make sure no poop would land on my hair. and i just stood there looking helplessly across to the busstop to see if anyone would help me get across to the other side safely. and i began to wonder what the heck about me today attracted the crow. was it the starry pin on my head?! whilst i was standing there analyzing things, that stupid crow was up in the tree staring at me! omg. and then i remembered the breakfast! omg immediately, i went to the nearest longkang and dumped the stupid piece of bread there, and one second later, SWOOP the crow came down and grabbed the bread and went away. OMG CROWS ARE FRICKIN SCARYYYY! :\

i was totally restless during fa today. it's this thing about sitting at the back i tell you. fa meeting after that, followed by a long and nice lunch with the fa groupmates. came home and slept for kwite awhile. went for a short jog in the evening and saw these two kids breaking branches with a hockey stick. sigh violent kids these days. and attempted to read ltb thru the night, but urghss it's not getting me anywhere :\ and nine oclock show is so exciting! thomas ong is kwite hot. hahaha.

i watched project runway last night! now i know why moses likes the show so much. okay he watches for the design, i watch it for the design plus the politics hahaha. i think angela should've gone out! i felt kwite sad for the gay guy. he reminds me of johnny depp as willy wonka haha.

k back to ltb :\

i slept for close to three hours! omg. this is the ultimate ultimate rest day after a whole week of torture. i really felt like just throwing all my work aside and getting someone to go catch a movie today! but nvm. i shall wait for moses to be back from texas :) and make him watch all the movies with me during recess week! oh oh how i can't wait!

but then again, there's the stupid ltb mcq test this friday :\ gawsh i haven't touched my effective leadership text since i bought it! and fa's killing me! omg i frickin can't balance the stupid balance sheet. and i promise i WILL go jogging in the evening. i must i must. my discipline's slipping away in every manner. i have no mood for anything. and i totally haven't been going for all the asoc meetings. there's really no time for anything. even if i had spare time, it should be spent more wisely zzz-ing :)

went for cf last night though, the message was good and applicable :) everything that God has been teaching me seems to be pointing at one thing: that i need to realize my sole purpose and calling........ to be a christian.

and dinner after that was crappy but fun :) haha the cf-ers are seriously nonsensical.

and oh how i can't wait to start watchin oc from season one! yes i'm gonna be watching oc instead of studying for bizlaw midterms during recess hahaha. speaking of which i'm terribly worried. and i just don't think that bizlaw's something i'm gonna ace.

oh well but for now, it's time to study for ltb :(

i don't fancy tuesdays much. bizlaw class at threethirty, and i sorta feel like my mornings always go to waste. and i need to stop being lazy and start exercising so bad. i spend my late nights munching on mooncakes and chocolates, and when it's time to jog, i change into my gear and decide i'm too lazy so i change out of it and go eat dinner instead. :\

have you ever felt like life has become so well-predicted and organized that it becomes directionless? paradoxical i know.

i really need to reflect more upon what was taught during bs last sunday. and allow someone more worthy than i am to control my life. someone who will never lead me in the wrong direction.

i love sd2! :)

belinda
smu accountancy
'the Lord is my shepherd; i shall not want.' psalm 23


.adriel. alicia. andre. christine. debz. eliza. elizabeth. elroi. esther. germ. glori. grace. james. jane. jiehui. jingmin. joel. joshua. kevin. lijun. liwei. mg girls 2003. mich goh. mingdao. paul. ryan. sam. sara. shangjun. shangwei. shumin. thank God!. tee. tng. velda. weijie.